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I started blogging when Ash was very young, and I remember a post I did on back to school– when my kids were young, and the summers were long. When they wanted constant entertainment, and it seemed like you were always making lunches, or a snack, or running someone to a pool… It seems like a lifetime ago. When sending them to school was a reprieve from the business that was young kids, and their boredom from not being in school. And then, they finish elementary school, and you have a moody, hormonal teen, who is stressed and not quite sure how to deal with it all. So, you work to balance all of that, while they are trying to balance the trying times of middle school and all the drama that is there.

When Ashleigh started High School I did another post on 208 Saturdays, which again, seemed like SO MUCH time {spoiler alert, its not}. She seemed so grown up, so ready for the world. Although, looking back, I see how much growth she had to do- how much she would learn about her self, and her habits, and about responsibility and life.

At the beginning of this year, I wrote the post that I had equally looked forward to, and dreaded, 52 Saturdays left… As a parent, watching your children become self sufficient adults is equally satisfying and terrifying. Your job, while almost done, is now being judged as successful, or not. Your child, now taller than you {except for Ash} seeks your advice a little more readily. But, also, is still working to find their own way, make their own choices. And as their parent, while you learn you can’t rescue them all the time anymore, you still have a front row seat to all of their adventures. Well, this week, that comes to an end, as I write the last post in her high school installments.

I have one Saturday left with my high schooler. One Saturday to pray I have taught her all she needs to know to leave our home, and start to make her first home without me. One more Saturday to make sure she knows how proud I am of her, how excited I am for her future. But most of all, how much I will miss her. And while she will be home for holidays, and maybe a summer- she will never be HOME the same way again. While {I hope} home is always her safe place, it won’t hold all of her “home” belongings anymore. Her TV will go with her. Her favorite books, and blankets. Her favorite clothes, and special pieces of jewelry. She will find friends I may not ever meet. She will take classes and have challenges I just won’t understand. And while I will always be her number one fan, I wont have a front row seat anymore. I will anxiously await her calls, and texts, filling me in on her day. I will send her funny {and probably sad} memes, just so she knows I am always thinking of her, and I will worry. I cant even imagine the worry. Did she study enough? Is she getting enough sleep? Is she taking care of herself? All the things I have worried about from the front row of her life story for the last 19 years.

This week, I also have one who is spending her last days in middle school. We have been at the same school for 13 years, and while I am excited to wrap up those years, I am in awe of the fact we spent so much time there. My girls had some of the same teachers, and so much of the same staff. I am so grateful for so many amazing teachers at both schools who gave so much of themselves to make my two children successful. And while my soon- to – be high schooler doesn’t know it, she is about to face an equally difficult challenge, as she will face all this as the only kid in the house, without the guidance of her big sister being on the other side of that shared bathroom door. So many endings in one short week, and soon, so many beginnings for them both.

Being a parent is the most rewarding, and yet challenging thing we ever do. We create the future, and man it’s a lot of pressure. But, at the end of the day, we just want to know we have joyful, and healthy kids. We raise them to be self sufficient. To make their own plans, find their own way. As they say, the days are long {refer to the first referenced post} but the years, the years are so DAMN short! It seems like I drew that heart on that little tiny kindergarten hand just yesterday, and when I did, she left, and went to school and left her baby sister at home. Now, that same young lady will head to college, and will leave her high school sister at home. She will go off and do big things, and none of us will watch from the front row but I hope she knows just how much we will be cheering from home.

Ashleigh, I am sure I will cry so much over the next few weeks {months}, but please know, they are tears of love and joy, as much as they say having a child is like having your heart walk outside of your body, and I am not sure a truer statement has been made. When you were young, my goal was to protect you, and keep you safe from everything. As you have grown, I am not sure that has changed {or will ever change} but some of it has been replaced with my hopes and dreams for you. With pride and joy in all you have done. As you head off to UF, a place near and dear to my heart, I am overwhelmed with so much emotion, and pride for your strength, your resilience, and excitement for your future. Always remember to stay in your own lane, and to remember you are braver then you know, and stronger than you think. And on the days when you forget that, just know I am always waiting in the front row to cheer you on and remind you!

Haylee, I have 208 Saturdays left with you! I am so proud of the person you have become. You have overcome so many challenges. You have succeeded in ways I never thought you would, and pushed through ceilings that others put on you. I know the next four years will be a blur, but I promise not to complain {too much} about my days at the pool, or helping you with homework. I promise to be there to be your front row cheerleader, and watch you grow, and become the amazing adult that is waiting for me at the end of this road. Thank heavens you don’t leave too, I am just not ready! Maybe in 4 more years… MAYBE!

And lastly, Congratulations to the Class of 2021. So many of you will always hold a special place in my heart, and I am thankful you let me be a part of your last year, with my first one! You have trusted me, and included me. You have shared your life with me in ways that I feel so blessed to have been included in. You had a rough year, but you overcame all of it, and I am so thankful I watched you guys from the front row too! I am always here for you! And, I can’t wait to see what you all accomplish!

  1. Brandi says:

    Oh my goodness! This speaks to my mama heart! My oldest will be starting middle school next year and I am not ready for that! What an awesome post!

  2. Lyn says:

    Don’t rent her room out to soon. She’ll be home more than you know. You have done a great job as a mom from my front row seat

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