My ramblings on marriage…
I have been married for almost 11 years, together for 12.5, and while I admit, I love my husband more today than I did the day I said “I do”, I would be lying if I did not say some days its damn hard being married. I know, as a wedding photographer we are supposed to love all things wedding: the cake, the dress, the flowers, and dear god, the shoes, I die for all the white sparkly concoctions that you beautiful women wear on your feet. But, that’s a wedding…its definitely not the same as marriage. Sometimes, it seems the wedding is an entity all its own, and the next week {after the blissful honeymoon} you wake up next to this creature, and wonder how you signed on for this for the next 50 or so years.
Ok, so maybe its not the next morning, maybe its a year or two down the road. Maybe there are even some kids involved. And while you know you love each other as much as you did when you said those vows, now you are a little bit more in what I like to call “marriage reality”- the part no one told you about. The budgets, the cooking, the joining of things, and parenting ideals, the different views you both have on what a “clean toilet” is. And honestly, i don’t care if its a man/man, woman/man, or woman/woman kind of marriage- marriage is WORK. Its nitty and gritty and down right crazy some days.
Whew, ok that sounds negative…so here is the upside…having someone who knows you better than you know yourself is freeing. Having a safe spot when all the outside is raining down on you, is amazing…no, its like water to your soul. And at night, when you wake up from a bad dream, and you reach out, and someone is there to rub your leg against…well it fills the basic human need of not feeling alone, of having someone who gets “you”.
I wanted to take a weekly post and talk about all this, the good, the bad, the dating conundrums, the parental debates, because this is real life, and this is my real life. Its not easy being married, and for Mark and I, we are re-married, which brings a whole new set of issues, but it is totally and utterly rewarding. I hear people who have been married for 50 years talk, and dear God in heaven, its beautiful, enriching, and sometimes really funny. And when I think about marriage, I want exactly those words. But I know I also want real. So, this is where I get real, and hopefully, document my marriage, so that in 3 or 4 decades when I look back, I read about my beautiful, enriching and funny marriage. I hope you will join me…or if not, I can talk to myself, I have been known to do that before!
Cheers and Happy Monday!
