Haylee’s surgery

Do you ever have days where you look around and you wonder where the last few hours went? Well, lately, I wonder where the last few weeks have gone! Oh, who am I kidding, where the YEARS have gone! I photographed a newborn today {sneak peak to come} and I am holding this tiny 7 pound baby, and I am thinking “was haylee ever this small”? She has changed so much, and I cant even remember those first few weeks {ok, I do remember the lack of sleep}. Her tiny hands, her little feet, and her baby smell…what happened to it? Tomorrow Mark and I take her to get tubes in her ears. I know, simple surgery, but there is something about putting your baby under that makes your heart stop, even for just a minute. She is so sweet so innocent, and she looks at Mark and I with these eyes that say “I trust you, protect me”. Its just so hard, even when you know its whats best for them, how come it hurts so much? Mark and I seem to say that alot lately. I guess thats because they are all getting older, and the conversations we have with the kids seem to be about “big kid stuff”- you know, the big issues, school stuff, friend stuff.

I will tell you, if someone had warned me about having kids, and the changes it would bring to my life, I dont know that I would have understood. There is a quote that says:

Making the decision to have a child is momentous.

It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.

Elizabeth Stone

I am sure that no truer words have been spoken. That is exactly what your children do to you! I always ask new parents if there lives have changed. They all say yes…but I am not sure that even then, in those first few exhausting weeks that they know how much that new baby has already changed there lives. As I look at haylee tonight, I wonder, if I too, am still learning how much I love her, how much I love all of them. Maybe, as parents, each day we learn more and more about the depth of that love, until that moment, when they walk out of our protective nests, to lives and babies of their own. All I know, is tomorrow, time will stop till they give her back to me, all perfect and whole. No, I dont think if someone had warned me about having kids, and the changes it would bring to my life, if I would have understood….

**  Update: Haylee did great and did not even cry when the nurses took her back! Of course, there was fluid in her ears when they drilled, they assume the beginning of yet another infection.  So, keeping our fingers crossed that  this will help keep her healthy, and improve her hearing! Thank you everyone who checked in today!